Bromenclature of the Day

Bro-Magnon - noun
One of the main types of early bros, dating from roughly 1950 - 1970. Known for their varsity sweaters, adoration of the Kingston Trio, and tendency to date women with two first names (e.g. Peggy-Sue or Louise-May).
ex: There were a lot of Bro-Magnons at Princeton when Scott's father went there.

Read More...

Bromenclature of the Day

Brotally - adverb
Completely, or wholly 'Bro' ish
ex: Brett was brotally accepted by the other dudes on the football team.

Read More...

Bromenclature of the Day

Broetry - noun
1) Any rhythmical literary work, written or spoken, composed by a 'bro'.
ex: The feelings Devon can't share on his fantasy sports league's message board, he shares in his broetry.
2) Broetic spirit or feeling
ex: Travis drank the beer bong with broetry.
See also: 'Broem'

Read More...

Bromenclature of the Day

Brototype- noun
1) the quintessential bro on which all other bros are formed.
ex: All the brothers in the fraternity agreed that the handsome, well-liked, and cool Chad was the brototype.

Read More...

Bromenclature of the Day

Brotocol - noun
1) The customs and regulations dealing with fraternal etiquette and matters of social norms and relations on a friendly level.
ex: When Brad slept with Dave's ex-girlfriend, he did not follow brotocol.

Read More...

Pinkberry is like white people trying to be black

I was first introduced to “brownie batter” aka “brownsickandgrossmush” and the like at Tasti-D-Lite back in the 90s, when people still marveled at the promise of slimfast’s “just three delicious shakes a day” and the FDA was in a coma. I made a decision then that its octane-like chemical structure could wait until I was seriously obese; I was 13 and not yet rife with body-conscious paranoia. I walked right on out of the Tasti-D-Lite on 86th and Broadway and right on in to the Haagen-Dazs that used to live on 84th and Broadway, copped a chocolate-chocolate chip in a cone and saw Hackers across the street. Oh yeah, I probably got a medium popcorn in the movie. But this is less about my food habits and more about why Pinkberry is like white people trying to be black; It has no soul and it’s trying too hard to be real ice cream and really just tastes like putrid, tangy ass. Not that white people taste like ass. They don’t. I’m not saying that. At all. I’m just saying that after just one bite of this imposter ice cream, I was jonesin’ for the real thing but felt hedonistic to want it; kind of like America wanting Motown back but feeling more comfortable with The Monkees.

Founders Young Lee and Shelly Hwang, vocal about wanting to pioneer the return of the ‘80s fro-yo craze, opened Pinkberry in West Hollywood in 2005. There are three flavors---original, green tea and the newest member to the Pinkberry fam and to the American diet obsessed collective conscience, pomegranate! Now, I know this because one day, weak in the knees for a sweet treat, thinking (like most American women) anything full fat would send me to oprah-ville, I walked into Pinkberry. “Hi, I’m sorry. I’ve never had Pinkberry. What flavor is original?” The woman behind the counter looked at me like an alien and snapped her gum, “What do you mean? Original is original. Like vanilla is vanilla. It’s ours. We made it up.” Agitated, I responded, “but what DO YOU MEAN? What does it taste like? Does it taste like vanilla?” Without the anger-filled retort I expected, she instead stalked back to the large, obtrusive metal structure that looks more like a machine found in an auto factory in Detroit than on Bleecker St. in New York City, grabbed a mini-cup and pressed a button, which produced a white, sludgy substance. She passed it over. I tasted. It tasted like cold nothing. But I was too embarrassed to leave and too embarrassed to ask to sample another flavor---it is a frozen yogurt spot after all, “indulgence” is the operative “nono” word. I ordered pomegranate, payed my $3 million dollars and walked the fuck out. I stood outside the Pinkberry franchise at high-noon in the middle of the summer and looked down at the sad mound of mush much like I did when I was 13 years old and in Tasti-D-Lite. Women passers by all gave me the same look of “I know what you really want and I want it too but close your eyes, take a bite and pretend.” And so I did. One bite of: citric acid, guar gum, maltodextrin, mono-and diglycerides, lactoglycerides, propylene glycol esters, rice starch, silicon dioxide (anticaking) and it tasted JUST like white people trying to be black! Really though, I stood there, dizzied, not from the brainfreeze-happiness induced by real, soulful ice cream but by the anger I felt at what American diet culture has taught me to settle for in the name of beauty.

I thought to myself, “can’t I get a real scoop once a week after a dinner of real food with real friends and not feel bad about it?” The culture of fro-yo isn’t even one that inspires the togetherness and happiness I equate with eating ice cream---I mean, have you experienced the Pinkberry décor? It makes you feel like you’re in the latest version of a Sim City Ice Cream Parlor rather than at Nana’s house.

My friend Joanna broke it down this way: “maybe white people are just straight up yogurt and they should stop trying to freeze themselves and add all sorts of sugars and toppings to fill the fro-yo hole, cuz they cant fill that hole. They should just stick to the thing they’re supposed to be, which is great, yogurt is great, but lets not all pretend it fills the same hole ice cream does.” Come to think of it, I just really haven’t been into the whole white people trying to be black since Bill Clinton played the Sax and Toni Morrison crowned him the first black president. Now that we actually have one of those maybe it’s time to retire Pinkberry and while we’re at it the whole harmful diet-food industry.

Read More...

Things to Do Tonight: NSR at CMJ

NSR @ Brown Bag Thursdays 10.22 Promo from NSR on Vimeo.

The kid's gonna murk it out, I can feel it (nomo), and you don't wanna miss it. 10pm. Voodoo Lounge (1st and 1st).

Read More...

Let's hear it for NY!!

Last night, during the annual CMJ Music Marathon in NYC, OnSmash and NahRight put together an all-star showcase featuring, Jadakiss, Styles P, Raekwon, and uhhh...OJ Da Juiceman?
Now, I know NYC is a tough crowd, but I've never heard of someone getting booed off stage Apollo style during CMJ. Although, with bands like "X-Ray Eyeballs" I honestly can't see how that's possible.

My question is: was this his first song? I fucking love this city.

Read More...

Things to Do Tonight: Gallery Bar w New Rome

Thursday is the new Friday, which makes Wednesday the new Thursday, and Tuesday the new Wednesday. Friday is the new Tuesday because Friday is still awesome even if you call it Tuesday. Saturday, Sunday and Monday haven't jumped on board yet, and are still the same.
So what does all that mean? It means that the weekend is here! Someone obviously doesn't have a 9-5. Nevertheless, YW and New Rome are getting it done tonight at Gallery Bar. DJ Swaan and I, Louis VodkaTron, will be wildin' on the Serato, and the photography of the ever-talented Richard Skinner and Carolyn Centano will be showcased. Bring your galoshes, I'm gonna get Burt Bacharach/ Gene Kelly on these bitches.

Read More...

Cool Things: The Mannahatta Project

Apparently, before Manhattan was the megapolis we know and love, it was a remarkable and diverse ecosystem. The Mannahatta Project has created an interactive map which simulates what Manhattan looked like in 1609, before it was "discovered" by Henry Hudson and settled by the white devils. You can then compare what any spot on the island presently looks like, with its natural, pre-European state. Check it out here.

Read More...

Things to do Tonight: Get Freeeky at Arrow Bar

I'm kicking off my biweekly Friday residency at Arrow Bar with Lynas and special guest DJ/ thug Gordon Voidwell. It should be sweaty, sloppy and somewhere between very good and fantastic.
Before hand, peep NSR at Bowery Poetry Club. He rocks at 1030.

Read More...

New Music: Sam French doesn't need an ID

Underage, yet extremely good looking and mature, Samuel French is one of Downtown NYC's finest DJ's. If you've ever been to one of his many residencies, you would agree that the kid GOES IN. His song selection is resolute and eclectic, and his blends are harmonious and seamless. He released this "rough" mix the other day claiming modestly, "I just threw together a bunch of songs I hadn't heard in a while." Last night, this mix somehow made it into the speakers of Downtown hot spots Gallery Bar and The Box (Samuel was at neither). No big deal.

Stream and download abajo.



Peep Sam French @ Greenhouse (Wednesday), Su Casa (Thursday), Royalton Hotel (Friday), Southside (Saturday)

Read More...

Celebration Time: Shyne is a Free Man!

Shyne Po nka Moses Michael Leviy (legally changed his name in prison) was released from Clinton Correctional Facility today, and here at YW, we couldn't be happier. So from one sort-of Jewish rapper to another, Shyne, congratulations and welcome back to the free world. Can't wait to see what your gonna do next.

Read More...

Things to Do Tonight: The Pregame Show Volume V

Rappy and Drinky. I can now say, without doubt, this is the longest running monthly party in the history of New York! Kilenm, Sneakas, NSR, and I are in the building. I think Dionysus might also make a cameo to celebrate our achievement of wildin'.

Read More...

New Music and Feelings: Swine Flu, Gucci Vump, and Fake Blood

Hello all. I apologize for my absence, but I was sick. Suppose it could have been cerdito flu, but I doubt it cuz I'm still a half human/half robot wonderboy, and not a pig in the least. So I'm feeling mostly better in time for the weekend when I can drunkenly throw rocks at my immune system, while it's still in recovery. On a brighter note, Shyne is supposed to be getting out of prison in a few days. Apparently he's now Jewish, which means we have even more in common! Anyway, here is some new music.
GUCCI VUMP - SHA! SHTIL! (L-VIS 1990 REMIX VIP)
When you begin to DJ electronic music, you realize that most of it is either appropriate for happy hour lounges or late-night clubs and very little in between. I like this L-Vis 1990 remix of Gucci Vump's Sha! Shtil! because it seems like it would be appropriate for 10:30. Perhaps I'll play it tomorrow and see if my hypothesis stands.

FAKE BLOOD- FIX YOUR ACCENT
Fake Blood dropped a three song EP called Fix Your Accent last month. Here is the title track. A little more playful and a little less hit you over the head hardbody than we are used to from the English master, fix your accent sounds like Switch, except not annoying.

CALVIN HARRIS- READY FOR THE WEEKEND (FAKE BLOOD REMIX)
Also, I guess I missed Fake Blood's remix of Calvin Harris' Ready for the Weekend. Obviously, its great. Listen for it in my next electronic set (Wednesday 10.7 at LPR I think).

Read More...

Things to do Tonight: NSR's the Star at Plan B

Tonight we celebrate NSR as he officially releases the Darling Limited EP and turns 25. He is an old man, but don't make fun of him about it cuz he's also OD sensitive. Rather, come through, drink, listen to Turbz, Terry Urban, and maybe a lil bit of eL VTron, and cop the Darling Limited in its hardbody hardcopy form (which took him, Nick, GLBM, and me a million years to put together). The fuego flyer was done by nofauxdesign.com. See ya later crocogator (that's the reptilian equivalent of a liger for all you non-zoologists out there).

Read More...

Things to do Tonight: Save the Studio

This is an important night for us at YW. NSR, NickName and I depend on Wonderful Studios and can't imagine what we would do in it's absence (record into the built-in Macbook mics). Please come enjoy, drink and support the cause. We (and I assume the other performers as well) have worked hard on our set to ensure greatness. So here is the link to buy advanced tickets. Also, and this is for YW readers only, I set up a discount code. Type youarereallywildin into the discount box and get 10 percent off your purchase! (haha, like 75 cents per ticket but whatevs, buy yourself a soda) Anyway, hope to see you later. Stay Wildin.

Read More...

New Music: Jigga y John Mayer

My closest friends will tell you that I spend most of my days debating who I'd rather be: Jay-Z or John Mayer? The best rapper of all time or, in my opinion, one of the greatest living guitarists, who just happens to have an incredible voice and more girls on his jock than anyone else in Hollywood. On September 11th, I got to watch Jay and John rock together live at MSG, courtesy of Fuse.

U Don't Know, followed by John Mayer solo, transitioned into Death of Autotune. This, my friends, is a dot com.

Read More...

Things to do Tonight: The Pregame Show

This is YW's fourth pregame show in as many months. It's finna get sloppy. Come through at ten, get your pregame on, listen to some music, and be on. Also, I know that the flyer would indicate that I'm DJing, which is true, but I'm also rapping. I need a double name like Dash Vuitron, or Speaks Vuitron. Three names, but the same ole' (new) VodkaTron.

Read More...

Things to Do Tonight: Blue Owl with LV

I'll be spinning tonight at Blue Owl. But I wont be the only mixologist in the place. In fact, Blue Owl makes the best cocktails in NYC (no joke). Here is a song I may play. Come through and we can embrace (nh)!
Lloyd featuring Juelz Santana- Pusha

Read More...